Treat Me As An Equal

Marta Case

Treat Me As An Equal

            When a young girl dreams of her wedding day, she pictures the man she will spend the rest of her life with. This man will have all the characteristics the little girl feels are necessary to complete and perfect the ideal man she will marry and devote her life to. One thing the young girl most likely does not hope for is a man who does not value her or treat her as an equal. Humans want to be loved; they crave that love that makes them feel important and wanted. Part of this love comes from respect. Respect can be shown in many ways, one of which is by treating another person as an equal. No one wants to be looked down upon or deemed less important than anyone else. In A Doll’s House, Henrik Ibsen paints a vivid picture of life in an unequal marriage through the relationship of Torvald and Nora Helmer in order to warn others not to make the same mistakes that the characters made.

            During the beginning of the first act, Torvald refers to Nora by many names. The way that Torvald acts towards Nora is intriguing. His speech, even while calling her pet names such as squirrel and skylark, is condescending and shallow instead of affectionate like most people would think lovey-dovey talk should be. This confusing behavior hooks the audience and reels them in. Torvald, also referred to as Helmer, talks down to Nora as if she were not smart enough to handle mature conversation. The way he scolds her about spending too much money mirrors the way a father might scold his child. Helmer has no respect for Nora when he says, “Nora! The same little featherhead!” Instead of communicating his feelings about Nora’s spending habits, he chooses to deal with the matter in such a way that shows the audience exactly what level he believes Nora belongs on. Helmer holds himself in high esteem and thinks Nora belongs beneath him. The stage directions while Helmer reprimands Nora say, “goes up to her and takes her playfully by the ear.” This solidifies the reader’s assumption that Helmer treats Nora like a child instead of a wife. Because Helmer thinks he is better than Nora, he will never be able to accept her as an equal. This unequal marriage eventually ends with Nora leaving Helmer to take care of their children himself. Though Nora tried to put on a brave face and deal with Helmer’s constant condescending behavior, it eventually became too much to handle.

            Ibsen proves through Nora and Helmer’s relationship that having an unequal marriage can be toxic if not dealt with. In Helmer’s defense, Nora somewhat played up the fact that Helmer treated her like a child and used it to her advantage. Because Nora never stuck up for herself, Helmer continued to view her as beneath him. When Nora finally decided she had had enough, it was too late to save the marriage. Ibsen highlights the toxicity of Nora and Helmer’s marriage in order to warn readers to respect others. Marriage is supposed to be a union of equals; and if that is not honored, then a marriage will not last. In order to have a healthy marriage, both partners must view each other as equals and treat each other with respect.